A New Fear

Weather is wild, boat is swaying gently and the soldering iron is cooling off nicely after a considerable session on the el-wire ready for this weekends Faithless adventure. Its late, I have an early start so I hit the sack to garner what few hours of sleep I can. Approximately 5.30am I shoot straight into wild eyed alertness as there is a sound of clawing on the side of the boat just behind my head. Clawing, holy fuck.

First Thought: Holy fuck its rats trying to board, they are swiming up the side and seeking a weak spot to gain entrance. So I quickly catalog all loose mooring ropes and any other means they may be able to board the boat. Once on board how could they get in. Didn't think they would try the exhausts or water outlets (if they did then I could easily flush or smoke them out so no worries there) but the bathroom window was open and if they could jump then there was a chance. In the bathroom they could easily crawl behind the shower ( not installed the plinthe yet under the basin unit) and through the gap into my bed at exactly where my head was. As adrenilne started to flush its way into my feet and stir me into action I have me second thoughts.

Second Thought: What if a hedgehog had fallen in the canal and was seeking a way to climb out of the water, it clearly isn't a threat but it still requires some action on my part. If I didn't go and fish it out then Zooty would have my hide but before I did anything as precipitous as removing myself from my wonderful (and cosy) nest lets try some third thoughts and actually listen to the sounds.

Third Thoughts: ITS THOSE BASTARDING DUCKS! They are eating the green stuff off the side of the boat which in other circumstances I would be well up for, but not at 5.30am. Resigned to the nibbling noises and relieved it wasn't rats (rats invading my boat, theres a fear I never knew I had) I went back to gathering what little sleep I could.

Moral of this story, if you have a fear of rats invading your home whilst you sleep, its porbably best not to live on a boat. Finish what you start and then you can sleep safely. (Or more simply Ducks are bastards.