Random Musings

TECHNOLOGY - So it would appear that the scourge that is mobile phone camera's has now gained an ally in the form of a link straight to your blog. The photo can be taken and sent out into the world wide web within a matter of minutes, this is dangerous technology to fall into the hands of the stoned, pissed, vengeful and incompetent. You have been warned.

KITES - LIDL kites, whilst value for money do not appreciate 60mph winds on sand blasted Scottish beaches, they frown upon that. You can expect individual line failure (casuing a deat spiral), double line failure (causing a sprint down the beach) and some extremely agressive kite behaviour. When Muffin and Turtle legged it in terror after they launched the kite the first time I thought it a bit dramatic, however after I launched it and it flew straight into my head I realised it wasn't dramatic behaviour, just prudent.

NUMB - Paddling in the North Sea can be fun but only once can no longer feel anything from the knee down and the searing cold no longer becomes the focus of your entire being. When running to the sea from the dry sand where you have safely deposited your shoes, pace yourself it can be deceptively far away, stopping for a breather really ruins your care free baywatch style dash.

LEITH - I remember returning home to Leith after a party at Peppers to find myself locked out of my flat, trying to kill time till the service button kicked in 6am I wandered Leith Walk still in full Crow costume garb and using my Burning Man fur jacket for warmth. Anywhere else this may have raised an eyebrow, but in Leith no-one gives a shit especially the sales assistants in the 24 hour shops, they have seen worse trust me. I miss Leith.

BEIGE - I am no longer talking to the colour beige and am seeking to have it removed from the colour spectruum, with extreme predjudice. The conflict started around what beige has done to the interior of my boat and ended with beige insulting my mum. I will not stand for this so at the first possibly opportunity he will be getting taken round the back for a swift and final kicking. With beige gone from the world it will open the door for more enthusiastic and polite colours.

YUM YUMS - I love greggs yum yums, this is not anything I can explain rationally. You can tell me how to make them, what goes into one, where you think there is a better yum yum supplier but to me it has to be greggs. Interesting point to note it that they do not travel well, just like Guiness and therfore must be eaten within 3 hours of purchase.

PILLOWS RULE- When in bed I am only truly content when I have the most pillows in the room, I twitch more when the number of pillows falls below a critical level. A room filled with just different sized, textured, and coloured pillows would be perfect, pillows that glow in the dark, tell time, vibrate, heat, cool and you can store things would be nirvana.

FAITHLESS - Calvin Harris the Faithless support sucks balls, it was a tough gig because well no-one really gave a shit about them. Faithless open with Insomnia and the crowd instantly react with our usual Scottish intensity, best gig I have been to in an age, certainly better than the last time I witnessed Faithless and I had to get taken to hospital and my nose cauterised.

ELWIRE - Whilst el-wire makes you easily identifiable from a distance at a gig, a definitie benefit in a standing crowd of 15000, people also know you are unlikely to be a cop and so I was averaging a drug enquiry every 8 minutes; some people really take the hump when you say no ("Fit do ya mean you dinna, your glowin' in the dark fir christ sake, ye must!"). It is amazingly helpful in negotiating crowds, they look at the blink, smile and by that time you are past them onto the next group.