Oh How The Mighty Have Fallen

So you read all the guides, speak to all your friends and might even get some research on the old internet done, but nothing can prepare for the fact that one week in the country and you NEED to buy flip flops. Fuckin flip flops. They are just the most practical footwear possible if you are going to be spending anytime on the beach or in the sea, which I am, a lot. Ggrrrrrr. As if to somehow compensate for this I have to know here they are at all times, they have their own space in the Jesus Fish.

Jesus Fish by the way is my camper van, although its really a van that you camp in before you get images of some massive BM style RV. I was asked upon collection of the keys if I was religious, not really I respond, thats good I am informed because some people get a little arsy driving around in a van called Jesus Fish (cause there is a large christian fish on the side with Jesus written in it. Also having "honk if you know Jesus" sprayed on the back is comical to start with, but when people honk you, you can never tell if it is 'cause something critical is wrong with the van, I am driving pish or because they actually do know Jesus. Oh the fun.

So there really are very large patches of bugger all broken up with very small patches of stuff here in Australia, it takes some getting used to. Especially coming from a tiny overpopulated place like Inverness, no really the places I have visited are making it look quite the bustling metropolis. Still I am loving the beaches and not giving a flying fuck who gets to see my pale white frame as I take a ridiculous amount of joy walking the beaches, splashing in the waves and trying to avoid collisions with wind surfers.

Last night I was regaled with Christmas carols involving Joey the kangaroo, something about a rusty ute and had to witness a massacre on bagpipes of amazing grace; which everyone lapped up, he couldn't hit any of the high high notes the useless sac of shit, I had to get up and hide behind a hill. There were lots of glow sticks and LED candles which made me happy seeing all the youngsters playing with their blinkies, it was probably the best part,. I would have said the fireworks were but the soundtrack which was on loop and out of sync kind of detracted somewhat from the experience, call me a snob I know.

Anyway I am about to head inland and up north whereby I hope to see live kangaroos, do some snorkling and visit some more national parks that might, just might contain something more than bushes and dust.