Diagnosis Murder(ed my hair)

Upon waking I instantly feel unease at the world, the swell is minimal, heating operational, wind a few knots so what roused me from my slumber? Quickly scout the perimeter, check locks and all seals, all well within opertional tolerances. Ready the shower and as Iclimb in, catch my reflection in the mirror...

...YOU BASTARDS!

I look like Dick fucking Van Dyke, WHAT! Rage, denial, shock all these emotions flood through my system, how the hell did those ducks penetrate my defenses. So its psychological warfare they want is it, no wait, wait, wait. I checked and all systems were green, but if it wasn't them who was it? It dawns on me who the real cuplrit is, ME! An absence of hair product, a lack of purple and a rather curious sleeping position left me with a white side parting and a casting call for the new series of Diagnosis Murder.

Not the way to start your week no sir, so be careful soldiers fate can conspire to inflict even the most obscure hairstyles in your sleep.

RULE 109: All soldiers of all ranks ust wear standard issue sleeping helmets to prevent drops in moral and the possibility of early morning bullying

Signing Off

Dougal Van Dutch