Welcome Home

So sitting at this desk I find myself feeling strangely at home after a visit to the toilet. Our wonderful new office building that has won so many environmental awards and is heralded as an architectural tour de force, but is completely pish to work in sprung another suprise on us. So now not only do the security doors only work when closed from one specific angle, I cannot work at my desk after 3pm due to sun glare from the glass roof but the rainwater flushing toilets are blocked solid with gunk from the roof. Brilliant!

Now to dispense of my own internal waste I have to take a huge hike to some a nondescript row of porta-potties, bask in the chemically preserved fecal aroma and marvel at the smurf like qualities of the light. Only thing missing is the deep bass from the Deep End and the threat of playa plague and I could be back home.

To those totally inept architects I salute you for creating my home away from home, the perfect way to decompress. The devil is in the details soldiers.

On another note those bastard ducks decided to welcome me home by shitting on every available square inch of pontoon, making boarding my home a trecherous adventure pitting balance against traction and gravity. I pity those fowl fools, don't they know I have just returned from my desert training facility with the cutting edge of counter insurgent strategies. Now if I can just get them to setup a theme camp so I can steal all their shit and throw ice at them I will be in business.

THE WAR IS ON!!!